Exit Through the Gift Shop

‘Mum. Mum. Mum. MUM. MUM. MUUUUUUM!’ a voice shouts across the display of botanical tea towels. Heads turn. Lips purse.

‘CAN I GET THESE I’VE ALWAYS WANTED SOME?’ the child asks waving a gift set of cheese knives.

‘No, put them back please,’ you reply with exaggerated quietness.

‘YOU NEVER LET ME GET ANYTHING!’

‘ANYTHING’ is laboured and gruff indicating years of gift shop deprivation.

‘You can choose a pencil’ you suggest in a sing-song voice with a dark undercurrent.

‘I’ll have this set of watercolour pencils.’ (Retail price £14.99.)

‘No, a pencil. One pencil.’