daughter rejecting

Foster Carers' TSD Standards covered:

Author Details

Shivani Chotai

Name: Dr Shivani Chotai

Job Title: Clinical Psychologist

Current place of work: The Child Psychology Service

The attachment system can operate a bit like a book, closing down due early traumatic experiences (i.e. abuse or neglect). This means compassion and affection from adoptive parents or carers can re-open the book (i.e. reactivate the attachment system) but at the place it was originally closed. So, if a child has closed their attachment system (i.e. their ‘book’) at a traumatic stage of their life because of emotional conflicts, neglect or abuse, reactivating the system will reignite these emotional memories. Re-opening this book can evoke strong feelings of shame, particularly if the child believes that they are unworthy of love and are fundamentally ‘bad’. This can therefore be a major block to developing attachment relationships and parents’ or carers’ attempts to build relationships can be avoided or seen as threatening.

This content is for members only. Log In » Register here »

Back to Advice & Strategies